Duuuuuuuuuude – what happened?

Phillipholland.com was humming along just fine.  You were losing weight, you were planning your AONCMBA, you were writing about it.  And then, in a very typical blogger move, what did you do?  You vanished.  No explanation.  No posts.  No nothin’.

Ok, I’ll stop talking to myself now.  But seriously people, wtf happened here?

There are two competing theories on setting/achieving goals.  One side contends that we should tell anyone and everyone about our goals – the thought being that all of these people will keep you on track, or at least your commitment to them will keep you on track.  The other side believes that goals are most effectively achieved by keeping them to yourself, and working on them diligently without any outsider knowledge.  The thought here is that the guilt of a slip-up when everyone knows about your plans may be too much to recover from, whereas if nobody knows you can just let it go and move on.

Well, the first method kind of worked for me.  It was encouraging to have other people cheer me on and share in my victories.  Unfortunately, it became unbearable to share my failures with the same group.  Once I had enough failures added up, I just quit (this has been an ongoing problem in my life).  BUT, not telling anybody didn’t work any better.  After I realized that I wouldn’t meet my target weight, I went silent.  I figured that if I eventually got there, I could do some dramatic post about how awesome I am for finally achieving my goal, and I wouldn’t have to give $800 to the Republican party.  Well, I didn’t get there.  I’m still sitting around 195 pounds (I’ve kept some of the weight off, at least).  Neither method proved perfect for me.  So was it the method, or the actor (me)?

I think there is some truth my feeling that I sabotaged myself.  I’m not sold on the idea that telling people your goals makes them necessarily harder to achieve.  But, at the same time, perhaps a weekly blog about it was overkill, to the point where I felt like if I wasn’t winning, I might as well give up.  Not to mention the whole idea of framing it as an all-or-nothing event – either I made it to 180, or I was a failure.  But that’s not true – I benefited from this experience in many ways.  My eating habits improved, my exercise levels increased, my knowledge of what a “portion” size is crystallized, etc.  So why should I feel like a failure?  I shouldn’t.

That said, I did promise that I would give $800 to the Republican party if I didn’t meet my goal.  Well, I don’t have an extra $800 right now.  But I suppose I DO have an extra $200, so I should at least make my donation to Direct Relief International.  So I did:

Direct Relief Receipt

This doesn’t absolve me of all responsibility, of course.  I still owe the Republicans $800, or owe it to myself to lose around 15 pounds.  I’m not going to set a date or make an ultimatum, but I still want to lose that weight.  The journey continues – I don’t know when it will end.

So what the hell are you going to do with this blog now?

Well, another thing I found from doing the weight loss challenge was that I liked writing, and I liked the blog platform.  I truly enjoyed it when people would mention how they liked my post, or my writing, or gained some sort of insight from what I was doing.  But I didn’t like such a strict schedule, nor did I like having only one topic to write on.  As my friend Emilie at Puttylike calls it, I think of myself as a multipotentialite (even though I still don’t think I’ve figured out how to correctly pronounce it).  I DO have a day job that is very specific, and it’s a good situation, so I’m not apt to get rid of it on a whim.  *Hi Boss!*  But for my blog, for my writing, and for any chance of creating an alternate source of income, I think I’d rather explore than try to nail it down.  So from now on I’m just going to write about what I want to write about.  I have all sorts of interests, so expect to see topics ranging from art, music, sports, politics, stupid cat pictures, nature, philosophy, funny videos, local affairs, international affairs, computers/technology, emotions, relationships, drugs & alcohol, product reviews, lifehacks, and general musings that can’t fit in any of those categories.  It’s just going to be a catch-all – if I feel like writing about it, I’ll just write about it.

There’s the future people.  That’s what I’ve got going on.  How YOU doin?

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